GRIEF & LOSS
PREPARED BY GROUP:
KHAIRUNNISA BINTI SAHDAN
NUR NADHIRAH BINTI MIJAN
INTRODUCTION
Grieving is considered one of the few effective experiences that all human beings will experience at some point in their lives. While the experience of grieving a loss is universal, how we grieve, who we grieve with, and how long we grieve are culturally and historically contingent. As such, it is important to understand not only our current modern definitions of grief but also the historical trajectory in which we have come to understand grief in this particular way. While anthropologists, sociologists, and psychologists have contended that grieving is one of the few rites of passage that is cross-culturally and cross-historically consistent, the emergence of grief as a topic worthy of psychological study is an early twentieth-century invention (Granek, 2010) .
Grief is a universal experience. That is an unavoidable reality. Human life is a series of bonds and dissolution, profits and losses. The feeling of grief is a natural response to division or loss, whether or not it happened in the past (White, 1999). It is happening now or may happen in the future. Condolences are commonly experienced and expressed by all individuals and groups Regardless of their background, location or beliefs. Condolences are old and ancient to human nature itself. Grief is the acute pain associated with loss. It reflects what we love, so it can feel inclusive. Grief is not limited to losing a person, but after losing a loved one, it can be exacerbated by guilt and confusion, especially if the relationship is difficult.
A group of psychiatrists has spearheaded a movement to include ongoing grief as a disorder, labeled “complicated” or “prolonged grief”. Others have proposed separately that a mourner can be labeled clinically depressed only two weeks after the loss of a loved one. The problem with both potential changes is that more people’s grief will be diagnosed as abnormal or extreme in a culture that already leads mourners to feel they need to just “get over it” and “heal”.
Grief, bereavement, and mourning are standard terms repeatedly used in the literature. In an attempt to define one term, many authors employ the other terms due to their interdependence and explain, or fully capture the profound meaning of the encompassing phenomenon of grief. At times, these terms are used interchangeably while, at other times, each has a unique and assigned meaning or connotation, depending on the context and dynamic involved, interconnectedness. Regardless of their extensive use, no term or combination of terms can totally unfold, completely explain, or fully capture the profound meaning of the encompassing phenomenon of grief. At times, these terms are used interchangeably while, at other times, each has a unique and assigned meaning or connotation, depending on the context and dynamics involved.
WHAT IS GRIEF?
Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These are normal reactions to loss and the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be.
Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. You may associate grieving with the death of a loved one, which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief. Grief is a normal part of coping with a loss, but it can be far more serious for some people. In some situations, normal grief can lead to a grief disorder, which can require professional help to overcome.
Types of Grief Disorders
There are several names for recognized grief disorders, including prolonged grief disorder and complicated grief disorder. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSMV) most recently added prolonged (complicated) grief disorder as an official psychiatric diagnosis, according to the Los Angeles Times, giving people suffering from debilitating grief a name for the disorder.
Prolonged Grief Disorder
Prolonged grief disorder affects some people more frequently than others. According to a paper published in the Oncology Nursing Forum, people who suffer from prolonged grief disorder often have a family history of the disorder. Women tend to suffer from prolonged grief disorder more often than men, though some men have the disorder as well. Typically, prolonged grief disorder is diagnosed& around six months after the causal traumatic event. This study also showed that African Americans are 2.5 times more likely to have the disorder.
Complicated Grief Disorder
Though the new psychiatric name for complicated grief disorder has been changed to a prolonged grief disorder, the concept of complicated grief is still very appropriate. Research conducted by the Columbia University School of Social Work estimates that nearly 10 percent of all bereaved people develop complicated grief. This type of grief occurs when the normal feelings of grief after a traumatic event don’t begin to fade. Those suffering from complicated grief are in the same type of emotional pain months after an event as they were the day the trauma occurred.
WHAT CAUSES GRIEF?
While it is not clear exactly what causes prolonged or complicated grief, the cause of normal grief can most commonly be attributed to the death of a loved one. Many life experiences can potentially cause grief. Although not all losses are considered equal, every setback whether it is an illness, a health-related issue, loss of income, or a failed relationship can trigger grief reactions. Some losses are considered worse than others depending on culture and where you live. The following is a list of some leading causes of grief;
Divorce or relationship breakup
Loss of health
Losing a job
Loss of financial stability
A miscarriage
Retirement
Death of a pet
Loss of a cherished dream
A loved one’s serious illness
Loss of a friendship
Loss of safety after a trauma
Selling the family home
Even subtle losses in life can trigger a sense of grief. For example, you might grieve after moving away from home, graduating from college, or changing jobs. Whatever your loss, it’s personal to you, so don’t feel ashamed about how you feel, or believe that it’s somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things. If the person, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it’s normal to grieve the loss you’re experiencing. Whatever the cause of your grief, though, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and eventually move on with your life.
COMMON EFFECTS & REACTIONS TO GRIEF
Managing grief can be extremely difficult, so it is important to understand the warning signs that may indicate that someone is having a problem dealing with grief. A person having difficulty with grief management might have suicidal thoughts, depression or difficulty completing daily tasks.
STAGES OF GRIEF
As everyone grieves differently, the phase in which you are depends on how you come to terms with your loss. There are five stages of grief, which are:
Denial - People often respond to intense and sudden feelings of loss by pretending it never happened. It is a common defense mechanism that makes people temporarily numb to the situation's severity. It also gives people more time to absorb and process the news. But once the person is out of denial, all the hidden emotions come out, which can be hard to deal with.
Anger - Some people might not know how to express their emotions and pain, and end up getting angry at the person who died, the old boss, or the ex. You may realize that the person you are angry at is not to blame, but the feeling of loss is too great to be dealt with. Once the anger subsides, people start thinking clearly and feel the emotions they have been pushing aside all this time.
Bargaining - In this stage of grieving, people look for a way to regain control or change the outcome of the events leading to grief. They keep thinking about the things they could have done or think about ways that the unfortunate incident could have been avoided. Most individuals make deals or promises with God in exchange for relief from their feelings.
Depression - This is a quiet stage of grief. Here, people try to isolate themselves to cope with the loss, which can be difficult and overwhelming. You may feel confused and foggy. Depression is inevitable after any loss, but you should come out of it eventually. If you feel stuck and start having suicidal thoughts, consult a mental health professional immediately.
Acceptance - Acceptance does not really mean that the person is happy or has moved past the grief or loss, but it means that the individual has accepted the loss to be a part of his or her life now.
COPING STRATEGIES FOR GRIEF
Recovering from the trauma of losing a loved one requires a platform for examining and understanding what has happened and how the person’s life has changed. Coping strategies for grief allow people who have suffered trauma to be introspective and thoughtful about their loss. The goal is to channel the flood of emotions that are a natural part of grieving. This helps prevent negative thoughts from looping through the person’s mind.
STRATEGIES & TIPS FOR COPING WITH GRIEF
The following skills can help people work through the grieving process:
Eat a healthy diet and drink plenty of water. Even when you don’t have an appetite, preparing simple foods such as soup or tea can bring comfort by feeling familiar.
Let people know how you feel. It’s common for people in mourning to avoid talking about how they feel, but finding a sympathetic ear can be a therapeutic release.
Start a journal. If you hesitate to open up to others, express your emotions in a private journal. This helps you mark progress over time and make notes of small accomplishments. If you've experienced a sudden loss and you feel you never got a chance to say goodbye, write your feelings in a letter. Say what you would have said had you gotten the chance. You don't have to share the letter with anyone if you don't want to, but getting it all out on paper might help you find peace and closure.
Stay active. Swimming, weightlifting, bicycling and other forms of exercise help relax tense muscles. Even short walks and simple activities such as sweeping the walk can have benefits.
Try using relaxation techniques. Many people who are grieving find comfort in meditation, prayer and other mindfulness practices. A technique as simple as slow, deep breathing can help calm anxiety or worry.
Talk About It. Dealing with grief is a process, not an event. Sometimes it helps to talk about the circumstances surrounding your grief with family, friends, or a professional. If others are going through your loss with you, use each other to lean on and confide in. It helps to get it out rather than keeping things bottled up inside.
Allow Yourself Time to Grieve. Many people believe that "throwing themselves into their work" or "staying busy" will help them get through the grieving process. On the contrary, doing so will only delay the inevitable. Of course, life marches on whether we want it to or not, but resist the urge to get back into the swing of things full force before you've had enough time to grieve properly. Even if it's just a day or two, take some time to really come to terms with your loss.
Don't Use Substances to Numb the Pain. It's tempting to dull the pain with drugs or alcohol, but doing so will only cover up and delay your true feelings. You’ll still have to deal with your grief. Rather than hold your feelings at bay with substances, face your grief head-on.
Turn to Spirituality. If you belong to a church or spiritual group, consider talking with someone there. All religions recognize grief and its special needs. Even if you don't attend regularly, you won't be turned away.
For Muslims, trust in Allah and turn to Him often. While you navigate your grief, it’s important to remember that whatever we face is from Allah, the Wisest. We cannot get so lost in our emotions that we begin to blame Allah, or question our Islam because of our trials.
Take Care of Yourself. Dealing with grief is an all-consuming task. You might not feel like bathing, eating, exercising, or otherwise taking care of yourself, but you should. Grieving takes a toll on the body and mind in many different ways. It can cause sleep problems, and immune deficiencies, and make pre-existing medical conditions worse. Don't ignore your own health during the grieving process. In fact, make an effort to get up, shower, and get dressed every single morning whether you have somewhere to go or not.
Get Help When You Need it. Someone once said, "Grief isn't a disease, but it can become one." Suffering from severe grief can cause depression. Think about getting professional help if you feel hopeless, overwhelmed, or helpless. If you experience other signs of depression such as sleep disturbances (sleeping too much or too little), loss of appetite, difficulty concentrating, or decreased energy, make an appointment with a therapist for help.
HOW PSYCHOLOGISTS CAN HELP?
Psychologists are trained to help people better handle the fear, guilt or anxiety that can be associated with the death of a loved one. If you need help dealing with your grief or managing a loss, consult with a psychologist or other licensed mental health professional. Psychologists can help people build their resilience and develop strategies to get through their sadness. Practicing psychologists use a variety of evidence-based treatments, most commonly psychotherapy to help people improve their lives. Psychologists, who have doctoral degrees, receive one of the highest levels of education of any health care professional.
REFERENCE
Abi-Hashem, N. (1999). Grief, Loss, and Bereavement: An Overview. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 18 (4), 309-329.
Bradley University. Managing Traumatic Grief and Coping After National Crises. https://onlinedegrees.bradley.edu/blog/traumatic-grief/
Granek L. (2014) Grief. In: Teo T. (eds) Encyclopedia of Critical Psychology. Springer, New York, NY. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4614-5583-7_127
Health Encyclopedia. Grief and Loss. University of Manchester Medical Center https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?contenttypeid=85&contentid=P0 0604
Prigerson HG, Shear MK, Reynolds CF III. Prolonged grief disorder diagnostic criteria: helping those with maladaptive grief responses. JAMA Psychiatry. June 20, 2022. https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/prolonged-grief-disorder-helping-those-withmaladaptive-grief-responses
Sneha, K & Krishan, KS (2019). Grief - Causes, Symptoms, Effects, Stages, Risk Factors. https://www.icliniq.com/articles/emotional-and-mental-health/grief
Threads of Life. Association for Workplace Tragedy Family Support. What is grief and why does it feel so awful? https://threadsoflife.ca/what-is-grief-and-why-does-it-feel-so-awful/
White, F. J. (1999). Loss and separation. In D. G. Benner & P. C. Hill (Eds.), Baker encyclopedia of psychology and counseling (2nd ed., pp. 699-705). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House.
Infographic Sources:
Mayo Clinic, “Complicated Grief”
Verywell, “DABDA: The 5 Stages of Coping With Death”
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